“I know this is objectively the worst day of our lives,” Elian leans against Jones’s chest, their motorcycle looking like something out of a demolition derby, but designed for The Matrix, “but,” Elian continues, “it’s kind of funny.”
Elian flinches as Jones pinches his side under the cropped patent leather jacket.
“It’s not funny,” Jones disagrees, but he looks at you for a moment as if to ask you to please find something serious to say.
“It’s not funny,” you echo as a hysterical giggle tries to break free from your throat. You swallow it back down.
Jacque’s hands are gripping the steering wheel of his Escalade like it might leap away from him.
“‘Splains a lot though,” Jacque grumbles while Redlan rummaged through their backseat for a shotgun. “Shoulda tried that.”
“I think I’d rather live through the apocalypse again.” Hannah’s arms tighten around Mali’s waist, their motorcycle smaller than Jones’s but faster and better engineered- and a bit more tasteful if you’re honest with yourself.
Anne leans forward in her seat to get a better look at the perimeter towers around the city. She bites her lip and looks at you.
“You know we have to try it,” she says to you, and you bite your lip right back at her.
Together you, Hannah, Mali, and Anne slip down the hillside, hand mirrors at the ready.
“If this works, I may just shoot myself,” Hannah sighs, and Mali- who nearly did put a bullet in her head after a close encounter with a zombie- kicks her calf lightly.
The horde of zombies shuffles by, heads bowed, bodies bumping together, low moans sounding like the buzzing of bees as they follow the red dot on the ground.
From your vantage point you can see the sweeping of the red dots to catch all the zombies’ attention.
“This is just filthy,” Anne grumbles, but she turns her flashlight on, bouncing it off her compact and watching with astonished fury as a zombie notices the reflection on the ground and shuffles toward it, alerting order to the new focal point.
Anne leads he zombies around with the compact for a while before Hannah gets a turn, then Mali. You haven’t asked for one, mesmerized by the millions of laser-pointers keeping the zombie horde distracted.
“I think they’re using a disco ball on that tower,” Mali sits next to you in the dirt as Hannah steers a zombie to smack into another one, toppling them both over.
“I feel so stupid.” You let your forehead rest against your knees. “Why did no one try this before? I had so many cat toys at home before all this.”
Mali puts a comforting arm around your shoulders. “When I used to work security they always talked about high-tech laser grids. This isn’t what they had in mind per se, but if it works, eh?”
You flash your flashlight at the watchtower, and the laser pointers controlling the zombie army start turning in opposite directions, parting the mass of undead bodies like the red sea.
“Welcome to Common Sense City: Just distract the zombies with laser pointers,” Anne teases as you all return to your vehicles.
“The patron goddess is a cat,” Mali giggles, and your caravan readies yourselves just in case, then guns it toward the massive mirrored gate.